Wednesday, July 1, 2009

c is for corinne

to begin at the beginning click here

for previous episode, click here

it was after midnight but corinne had already decided to call in sick in the morning.

life wasn't half bad. she was lying back on her waterbed reading "passion in the wind" by jennifer broughton. a tape of an american idol show was playing softly on the tube and she had her remote ready to turn it up when someone cute started to sing. and her roommate brenda wasn't back yet from her meeting so corinne had the apartment to herself.

then the phone rang. a glance at the caller id confirmed her worst fears. she picked up anyway.


"corinne, it's georgette."

"i know, they invented caller id a hundred years ago."

"corinne, how are you?"

"great until you came along."

"i was thinking about us."


"why are talking like that? is brenda there?"

"brenda isn't here even when she's here."

"but is she there right now?"

"no. listen, do you have anything new to add to your usual pitiful snivelling? because i'm busy." corinne turned a page of "passion in the wind."

"how can you stay with someone like brenda? she's the most awful person i ever met."

"how many times do i have to tell you i am not "staying with" brenda. brenda is not my girl friend. she just lets me have sex with her when i get bored. she doesn't even like it."

"that's not love!"

"who said it was? i'm getting all the love i need from jennifer broughton."

"jennifer! who's jennifer?"

"jennifer broughton is the author of this excellent romance novel i was enjoying immensely when i was so rudely interrupted."

"can't we get together again?'"

"no." corinne lay back flat on the waterbed and closed her eyes.

"why? "

"why?because you're a fat possessive dyke who sweats like a rhinoceros and doesn't know how to dress or act in public."

"you used to like me."

"if you don't stop calling me i'm going to report you for harassment. this is your last warning. it's after midnight! i could have been asleep."

georgette sounded like she was starting to cry. "oh right , you're going to report me. you forget i know a few things about you!"

"what! what! you moron, how many times do i have to explain it was legal in nevada and still is, l-e-g-a-l, legal. as legal as being a waitress or working at walmart."
"prostitution is a great evil."

"great, go testify at the u n. and leave me alone."

georgette was definitely crying. "corinne, you know you don't care about being seen in public with me. you don't care about stuff like that, that's why i fell in love with you. you're a force of nature, you're the wind and the stars - "

corinne hung up. she rolled off the bed and stood up. bummer! could she actually call the police about georgette? talk about a hassle with a thousand capital h's. why couldn't people just leave her alone?

to calm herself she thought about her dream man. although she had hardly ever had sex with men except for money, corinne didn't think of herself as a dyke because she had her dream man. her dream man was about eighteen, really cute, with at least a billion dollars and loved only her, but left her by herself when she wanted to be alone which was almost always. guys like that might not grow between the cracks in the sidewalk but you never know.

she opened her eyes. it was almost one o'clock.

where was that dumb bitch brenda?

d is for dave

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